What American car would you bring overseas?

"themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles" (themanwithsauce)
11/30/2013 at 15:39 • Filed to: None

Got to talking with my friend as I'm on the hunt for a new job. The thought of moving overseas came up and we got to talking about what the most ridiculous American car to bring over would be....

Specifically, we were joking about what would happen if I ended up in japan as my cars tend to be big boats and sedans. One of my friends just finished a business trip over there and even in the less crowded parts of the country, there's not much space for things bigger than a subaru legacy or skyline. Those are "big" cars. Having a minivan is considered decadent so that's where they get the luxury minivan idea from. Well I gave it some thought and decided that if by some miracle I could import some cars from America, I would have to go with a Dodge Ram SRT-10 (short cab with the 6-speed of course).

Why? The ridiculousness of it all. It couldn't be more American if it hit home runs every time you shifted and if you put apple pie in the gas tank. The exhaust is specifically tuned to carve the faces of mount rushmore into nearby mountains....Either that or it'll trigger earthquakes on the eastern seaboard of japan every time I step on it. But most importantly of all is that it can do this

Realistically, I'd probably bring over a grand national instead as it's older so I might be able to squeak it in on some technicalities (or at least donate it to a museum under a banner reading 'This old buick kicked the crap out of anything from this country at the time') while I'm 95% sure there'd be a gunship waiting for me when the ram came off the boat to make sure it either went back to America or was shot on sight. But hey, I can dream. Bonus of the ram - I could probably fit a kei car in the trunk (with the tailgate down) so if I had a ramp system, I could drive my truck until the roads got too narrow, then hop in my cappucino or honda beat and go off in my economical sports car.

DISCUSSION (59)

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 15:43

Kinja'd!!!

'67 El Dorado, because fuck tight spaces.

desertdog5051 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 15:44

From 'Murica with love.

Kinja'd!!!

F-250, diesel, crew cab.

Anon > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 15:46

Kinja'd!!!

A 2002 Dodge Viper GTS. Because 'MERICA!

twinturbobmw > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 15:48

Just for fun.

Kinja'd!!!

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Anon
11/30/2013 at 15:53

Also because the E-spec Gen II exhaust tune was seriously horrible, courtesy of the EU's hilariously retarded sound pollution legislation. And by that I mean the Gen IIs ended up making less power than the Gen Is.

Sn210 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 15:53

Kinja'd!!!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 15:55

Kinja'd!!!

Just to go flat-out on the autobahn.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager
11/30/2013 at 15:57

YES!

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > twinturbobmw
11/30/2013 at 15:57

Ashton Kutcher approves.

JR1 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 15:58

Obviously the answer is Viper, GT500, or Corvette. Personally I'd take over the Viper because 206mph and and engine that makes the Veyrons look small

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/30/2013 at 15:58

10/10, would be behind you in a charger daytona for drafting purposes.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Goshen, formerly Darkcode
11/30/2013 at 15:59

See I'd go with a viper of some kind, but somehow putting a ridiculously beefy engine and putting it in a pickup that fails at being a pickup just seems so much more 'MURICAN to me.

KnowsAboutCars > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 15:59

On related note there's a region in Finland where big American trucks and suvs are very popular.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > JR1
11/30/2013 at 16:00

You *could* take over a V10 in a sexy coupe body.....or you could take over a V10 in a pickup truck. Just saying, I'd pick my V10 flavor served in a pickup instead of a roadster.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Sn210
11/30/2013 at 16:01

Pretty sure you'd be a baller no matter what country you were in. Well except france, but then again why drive that through france?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > desertdog5051
11/30/2013 at 16:01

You could tear down what's left of the berlin wall then haul over enough supplies and crew to build it back up again. Perfect!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 16:02

This may induce panic.

This needs to happen.

KnowsAboutCars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/30/2013 at 16:03

Relevant picture

Kinja'd!!!

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/30/2013 at 16:03

If we charge towards Berlin, they might think the yanks are coming back to finish the job :P

Sn210 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 16:03

Kinja'd!!!

How about now?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Sn210
11/30/2013 at 16:05

Because Bubba 'Murica looks like he would be the driver

Kinja'd!!!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 16:06

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > KnowsAboutCars
11/30/2013 at 16:08

So awesomes can't contain thoughts make words not sentence

KnowsAboutCars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/30/2013 at 16:10

The one and only Superbird in Finland. There are also couple of them in Sweden as far as I know.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 16:10

To make them surrender?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/30/2013 at 16:12

I imagined a line of 60s/70s NASCAR cars blasting down the autobahn while this song plays. My sides hurt. I blame you.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/30/2013 at 16:13

They would never surrender to someone in such an uncivilized beast as an old lincoln. Especially if it has suicide doors. Now if you somehow had Guillotine doors? That's just french enough to work.

JR1 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 16:15

The truck would be grand, but the chicks dig the coupe

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 16:16

Just put American flags on the front and tell them you're now in charge, profit.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > JR1
11/30/2013 at 16:18

You can fit way more girlies in a pickup than you can in a 2-seater coupe. This is why the wagon version of any car is better than the sedan - more space = more girls and more room to move.

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 16:20

There's only 3 I'd genuinely bring over here. A 2nd gen Corvair, a '67 Firebird and an Olds Toronado.

They're just cars I adore :)

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires
11/30/2013 at 16:22

Oh the old toronado. Probably the only FWD car that came from the factory able to lay patch for a mile or longer.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > KnowsAboutCars
11/30/2013 at 16:28

I have googled what finnish women look like. I have packed my bags and will head over in a jeep wagoneer within a month.

JR1 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 16:35

And let's not forget the bed in the back that never has to be made. Chicks dig that too!

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > JR1
11/30/2013 at 16:38

I miss my old conversion van.....And NO, it was NOT a creeper van since my van had tons of windows (with shades!) and enough lights to rival the vegas strip.

Shooltzie > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/30/2013 at 16:46

Seriously though, this alongside a Ford Gran Torino, a Chevy Impala and a couple other of the super sized American lead sleds with full restomod jobs so they can all do 200mph (not like the Super needs any help here) blasting down the Autobahn in single file would make all the Germans run away scared.

I wanna do it.

f86sabre > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 16:48

Kinja'd!!!

Jay Lauer > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 16:57

Kinja'd!!!

Designed in England. Improved by us.

The English think that all we do is make their TV shows worse (Shameless, Skins, The Office, Top Gear.) It's time we show them we did some shit right.

Kinja'd!!!

(This all being said, I am a huge fun of both the British and American versions of The Office.)

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 17:17

The Oklahoma farm truck!

AMC/Renauledge > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 17:19

Kinja'd!!!

1976 Cadillac Eldorado Bicentennial convertible. Such an enormous car with so little interior space, a massive 8.2L 500ci V8 making 210hp max, FWD, with ivory/dog dick red interior to commemorate America's 200th anniversary.

There is no other answer. It is the ultimate insensitive, shouty, fuel-swilling, road-hogging ridiculous car celebrating a country younger than many European brew pubs.

desertdog5051 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 17:24

Yes you could. Or, it can pull a pretty big trailer so I could take a bunch of smart cars back there and get rid of them.

Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 17:33

Kinja'd!!!

Because 'Murica.

xxstich666xx > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 18:43

With lights and sirens blaring going down the autobahn. People would have no clue what to do.

Kinja'd!!!

JR1 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 22:39

Vans like that always had so much character! They were like mini houses

Sn210 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/30/2013 at 23:47

Guillotine doors you say?

Kinja'd!!!

JimEmery > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
12/01/2013 at 14:34

Are there reliably documented top speeds for the winged car STREET versions? The NASCAR versions were the first to lap Talladega at ~200 MPH, as is well known.

I've heard ~130 -140 MPH (?) for street-version Daytonas / Superbirds, but the idea of hitting those speeds on circa 1970's designed skinny bias-ply tires and soft Detroit suspensions sounds scary, even if the nose and the wing are helping the grip.

helljumper30 > Goshen, formerly Darkcode
12/01/2013 at 15:57

And what's stopping you from putting the right exhaust on it after you brought it? NOTHING!

Dholvrsn > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/01/2013 at 19:25

1947 Studebaker Champion four-door sedan.

GRawesome > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/01/2013 at 21:10

I'd go with a modern muscle car, like the Challenger because it is the largest of the 3, with a huge V8 and some flowmaster exhaust for that deep rumble.

Zoom > JimEmery
12/02/2013 at 00:02

'Street versions', as in Woodward St.?

Hehehe. None stayed stock. None. So 'street' versions had shitloads of 440 Wedge torque, or dumptruck loads of Hemi horsepower. Figure at Talledega, 200 mph came with 7-800 hp. Close to stock displacement, on a single carb, no blower.

Imagine.

Zoom > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
12/02/2013 at 00:02

Oh, Hell Yes. This has to happen, some day. A line of 'em.

Zoom > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
12/02/2013 at 00:07

Oh, how did I miss this post? I need to spend more time on Oppo.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > helljumper30
12/02/2013 at 06:47

After you brought it, it already had the right exhaust. Only the E-spec ones had those detuned exhausts which decreased power by 70 HP.